Total Dork

I apparently had the worst--the worst--musical taste as 15- and 16-year-old. I recently retrieved some childhood belongings from my mom's house, and they included what can only be described as a "collection" of the cardboard boxes that were used as packaging for CDs in the 80s. [Kids, when compact discs first hit the market, music companies packaged them in long cardboard boxes so the CDs would fit in the bins records stores used for records. They were the same size and shape as the plastic cases that stores now use.] For some reason (save the Planet?), I did not throw them away. Here's what was included:

Paul McCartney "Flowers in the Dirt"
The Beatles "Past Masters Vol. 1" and "Magical Mystery Tour"
The Rolling Stones "Steel Wheels" and "Hot Rocks"
Eric Clapton "Journeyman"
Spirea X
Suzanne Vega "99.9 Fahrenheit Degrees"
Poi Dog Pondering "Volo Volo"
The Traveling Wilburys
The Steve Miller Band "Greatest Hits"


In my defense, this was not the sum total of my musical collection at the time, and I had these boxes far longer than I had any of the actual CDs. However, it's still bad. Moreover, there's no correct derogatory term for this horrible array of bad taste. It's not girly ("girly" being appropriately derogatory for a 16-year-old heterosexual dude who attended an all-male school) because there's no Tori Amos. It' s not faggy (see above) because there's no show tunes or Erasure. It's not nerdy or geeky because there's no They Might be Giants. It's just plain sucktastic.

No wonder I didn't date in high school.